Just be who you are

Hi peeps I am back. I am just lazy to do my assignment. XD I swear I will start tomorrow morning. *fingers cross* Procrastinate again~~~ lol

Anyway, a friend is little troubled for not being to achieve what she wants to. Since I am probably not seeing her anytime soon so probably this post do help.

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Today's topic is about "Achiever VS Normal Dude". Everyone wishes to be the best, oh who doesn't? Being the best is so tempting, because you get people's attention, you get recognition, people rely on you, you feel like a boss man! But yea, it does have a cost. It is always something like "I see you good you see me good" kinda thing. If you don't like reading long long crappy stuff and would like to go straight to the point, please jump to the sub heading "comparisons of achiever and average person"

My Past Achievements
Heh let me boast a bit kay? hehe. Skip this part and go to the next sub-heading if you are annoyed by people who boast. XDDDD

Ever since primary school, I strove to be the best in everything. I was a damn kiasu person. I was naturally not born as a good sportsman, so I aimed to be number one in academic. I wanted to be number one in class, number one in competitions. So naturally, I was the class/school representative for many academic competitions, to the extend that I had to give up some for another because I couldn't join the training sessions. *proud*

So I was always (not every semester la, but pretty much all of it) the class monitor. And I was the head prefect/assistant head prefect for all 3 years as a school prefect. I was also the Arts Club Vice President tho we practically did nothing in primary school lol.

In high school, initially I wanted to be more low profile because I know CHS is a school full of elites, so I probably don't have a chance to be number one academically since my command of English and BM were poor. It went better la, so then I became ambitious and aimed to be in the Top 50 out of...approx 650 students in the form. I also didn't aimed to be president of this and that in lower forms because I can't speak well in English, and that feeling again, vanished after I moved up to Form 3.

But it was then I learnt many things in life, after being given a chance to lead the YE. I learnt that people don't give you everything because you have abilities. Attitude is the determinant of everything. So to succeed, not only do you need ability, you also need good attitude. I started to see things in different perspective after that, which luckily, allowed me enjoyed my last 2 years of high school life instead of sulking why am I not given a chance.

When I moved to college, I wasn't as active as I was in high school, but still, pretty active. I joined the Students' Council (And later accidentally became the president of a unit under the Students' Council), and was part of the SASA (I was one of the most active member *proud* HMC SASArians we rock yo! XD).

A life of a normal person
So, after I graduated from college, I decided to be low profile in uni. I wanted some rest after all the busy lifestyle ever since high school. And this is when I've learnt, the most, or maybe one of the most, important lesson in life.

I was enjoying leading a low profile life. I didn't feel stress, I didn't feel the need to behave to become what I should become, instead, I become a person who I WANTED to be. Sometimes I felt timid when comparing myself to the high achievers friends around me, and they seem to be so distant from me now, when we used to be on the same level, or at least, almost their level.

But this is the life that I have chosen. I am well aware that no one can be enjoying the benefits from two different extremes. Simply put, you don't see a person who don't work leading the life of a rich man. We are often jealous of the rich people, being able to lead a grand lifestyle. But have we considered what have they sacrificed behind? Likewise, we are always envious of the top scorer, the best sportsman, the all-rounded leader, the glorious national competition champion. We are jealous of what they have, because they seem to have everything: the fame, the attention, the glory, the opportunity, the brain, the reflexes, the........, and we always though "ahh...how good if I could be just like him"

I have been an achiever (or at least I thought so, but probably what I've achieved is nothing for some REAL ACHIEVERS out there), and I've gone through the bad times too. And now, I am a darn normal, normal uni student, who is not studying in top-rank university scoring the best, top tier results in the world. Neither am I holding ten president title with me. I am just, normal boy, slacking everyday, watching drama, playing computer, handing out with friends, going to the k-box about once a month. I am a uni student ENJOYING MY SIMPLE LIFE.

Now comes the main topic:

Comparison of achiever and average person.

Achiever's POV:
Advantage of an achiever:

1. Sense of achievement (you feel proud) - from the recognition, attention, fame, etc.
2. Better CV - Better future/job opportunities
3. Learn more things - stress management, time management, leadership, social skills, etc.

Disadvantage of an achiever:

1. Workloads - stress
2. Sacrifice - you don't get to do what you WANT, rather, what you SHOULD. You can't go out with friends as you like, play games, slack, etc. You are always studying, planning, meeting, organizing, researching. You are always doing good for OTHERS but rarely YOURSELF.
3. Expectation - people have expectation on your behaviour, performance, attitude, etc. You don't get to swear as you wish, you are not allowed to fail any projects/subjects, you are expected to be professional. You lost the right to "ask simple questions" because you are expected to know it (unless, if you really don't care about what others think, which is also a skill that one must learn). Ask yourself how many times have you asked an all rounder-friend "This also you don't know?" and gave him a shocked face and start teasing him afterwards.
4. Friends - your gang of friends differ from that of a normal person. You need to identify who befriends you for the benefit that you can provide (you can do everything dude!), and who really treat you as one. Also, as mentioned, you have less time for your friends because you are always busy (unless your friends are also your co-worker/colleague).
5. Complex social life - you mix with many different types of people. And sometimes people backstab you, defame you, mock you, just to bring you down. All those that you can see from dramas la, but maybe not so serious. But trust me, they happen. And oh, psychological warfare is tiring. You do need to put on a mask at times, for example, to greet someone you don't like in the public.

So you have read that from an achiever's point of view, now let's look at a normal person's POV.

Advantages of orang normal:

1. Less stress - less expectation, less workload, less commitment
2. More free time - you get to do what you want, go out with your friends and chillax.
3. Friends - because you don't stand out, friends who befriend you are more likely to be real friends. 
4. Simpleton - If you hate wearing a mask, or is incapable of doing so, then enjoy your life as a normal person.

Disadvantage of orang normal:

1. For low confidence level people, they may feel a lack of sense of achievement
2. Just-a-normal-person CV - You don't stand out.
3. Less exposure - you don't learn as much, because you don't experience them. You probably don't know how an event is run, how to dine formally, how to find sponsors, how to greet corporate leaders, and how to PROTECT YOURSELF from some bad-ass people - you don't know how to play psychological warfare - *I am not telling you to get involved. But if you are being too passive, you may get targeted by those people, ordering you around, or make you a scapegoat for something they have done*

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So you've seen the pros and cons from both views. It's always something you see me good I see you good. Fact: my achiever-friends are always busy, stressed up. While me as a normal dude, always envious when I see their achievement. But yea, I am enjoying my life. They stand out at the cost of their own time. So it all depends what you want to achieve in life.

So people, think what kind of life you wanna lead in the future. Some people like challenges. Some people want to change the world for the better good. Some people want to be rich. If that's so, aim high! But do know your cost: you have less time to spend with people you love, or even your family and kids (And movies, and even real life taught us what happens to neglected kids but that's out of the topic)

If you can't handle stress, if you don't like being the spotlight, if you just want to lead a normal life, then just be who you want to. You probably don't have as much opportunity for job advancement because you are plain, but you chose that.

My advice is, enjoy your life in uni, while learning the skills you need for your ideal life in the future. You may not earn a lot, you may not get onto the newspaper, you may feel plain and dull, but as long as you can stay with your family, earn enough  to live and save/invest for future, that's sufficient. Maybe you start learning all the job-surviving skills late, maybe you may get picked on for being dumb at first, maybe you don't have experience in many things, but remember, you chose this because you enjoyed earlier. Other people advance before you at the cost of your enjoyment.

For the achievers around, I salute you for your determination to succeed in life. But there's also a piece of advice to you: know where to stop. Remember your first purpose to do all this since young age is to HAVE A SMOOTH START in work. After that, enjoy your life. Don't spend your whole life chasing dream after dream, because there's too much to achieve in life.

Credibility

A few days ago I read an article from the newspaper about "credibility". The author shared her (if I didn't remember wrongly, it's a female author XD) experience on how she brought up her child as a credible person. The story was roughly like this:

The child, coming from a foreign country, did not have many friends. One day, out of the blues a friend invited him to his farm the next day. So the child, with his mom (the author), waited at the school gate the next day, only to find his friend missing the appointment.

It turned out that the friend was just "casually talking about it" and since the friend had something else to do, totally ignored the promise. Since the kid was not her child, the author couldn't possibly lecture the kid about one's "credibility". The author then taught her child to be a credible person who always keep to his promise.

When her kid graduated, she saw the kid's classmate wrote an interesting testimonial for him. "You may not have realized this, but you are the most trustworthy person I've ever met. There's no worry that you will miss any appointment. You are always punctual for any event."

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So, today this post is gonna talk about "credibility" and "promise".

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Seriously, I am stuck. I had a lot of inspiration a few days ago when I read the article. But since my exam was coming I didn't post about it. And now...the inspirations are gone~! T.T I guess I should just type what I remember then. Sorry this post is gonna be a little disorganized. @.@


I sorta feel that, people nowadays take promises very lightly. That's why all plans usually ended up messy. Now, I sometimes don't even see the need to plan things in detail, because they don't go accordingly. For example, a dinner that is suppose to start at 7pm, we have to get everyone to come at 5pm. If you say "let's meet at 7pm", chances are, you're gonna get frustrated big big time.

Sure we don't see a problem. We know that people's gonna be late what. Just say we gonna start early la! But it's very unfair for people who are punctual, no? Punctual people sacrificed their time to wait for the "real time" aka 7pm.

To me, punctuality reflects one's personality. One who's always late has no consideration for the others, and therefore, does not worth my respect. If you're always late on me, I too will be late on you. You no respect I, I no respect you, simple.

Perhaps easy communication these days make people find less importance in "promises". If any problems arise, we can always contact the others and say so. But then again, breaking promises is costly to BOTH parties. The one who break promises again and again, you are gonna lose all your credibility and nobody's gonna believe in you again. The one who is always the victim, had to sacrifice his/her own resources (time, money, etc) to accommodate to the "change in plan". Take the example of the author's case, they had to sacrifice the time to wait for the friend, and maybe any cost of travelling or preparation for the outing.

The best illustration that communication affects credibility: my experience as an "ahmad". I remember in the past, when I went for any birthday party, I would tell my dad, "pa, event is starting at 1pm and ends at 6pm".  I would reach by 12:50pm, and event would start around 1pm. And then by 5:30pm, event is near its end, and I can leave by 6pm.

Now, when I need to fetch my brother around, he always tell me "I will call you when it ends". To me, it's damn frustrating. Cause' I can't go anywhere! I need to wait for him to call me. When I ask him "can't you give me a specific time?" He would tell me "I dunno also! They say 6pm, but always end late one!" And the same thing applies to fetching him home from co-curricular activities.

Yea, everyone now owns a handphone. That's why communication is easy. Unlike last time, everything must be planned early, and must go according to plan. Because any deviation is costly to adjust.

But poor event management does affect the organizer's credibility. Seriously. I myself hate going to events organize by "this gang" because it never go according to plan. "This gang", really have a lot of problem in events and they make phone calls to adjust like nobody's business. And the participants like us, in the end, wait and wait and wait. For example, a barbecue dinner was supposed to start at 7pm. I was told that someone would fetch me from my home. So I got ready and waited since 6:30pm. And the person got another person to come pick me up at 7:45pm. I was starving, but never mind, I thought I got to eat by 8pm. But in the end, the driver told me that there's more errands to run. The driver had to drop people, pick up another person, buy some utensils because they didn't prepare, etc etc. I ended up reaching at 9:30. Yes, 9:30 for dinner. Don't you think that the deviation is a bit too much? If we are late by 1 hour, ok la that's still acceptable. But 2.5 hours? I mean, it's not the driver's fault, it's the event organizer's fault for making the driver to do so much. The driver was a victim too. and 2.5 hours is actually a pretty "normal" delay in their activities.

Like the author's case, your credibility is built by your actions. People don't trust you just because you are some big shot or famous. You need to build up your reputation. Start by doing simple things like keeping promises to your friends (party, gathering, study group, discussion etc etc), being punctual, do proper planning, and avoid last minute changes. Not only you are helping people around you, you actually help building your own reputation and credibility.



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Ok, I know this post is really messy and stuff, I'm really sorry. Cause' I really can't find the flow that I wanted to write the other day. >< My point is, KEEP TO YOUR PROMISES, and DON'T CHANGE THE PLAN LAST MINUTE. That's all.

有苦自己知

搞这么多聚会，他妈的你以为我很喜欢啊？打电话不用钱，一个个问schedule 不用时间，安排时间地点交通不用精力。你以为很爽？

今天明明就有点不舒服。明明都不想出街了。当一个两个讲这个不能那个不能是，真的他妈的想骂脏话。我真的受够一些人了！

有时候不是要讲什么，朋友酱久了，不需要计较酱多。你以为搞活动很容易？兼做司机，只为了方便那些有心，但由交通问题的kaki。活动超支，有人负担不起，我暗地里不知自己贴了多少钱，何况电话费也还没有跟你们算。因为只要我觉得钱，时间，精力花得值得，出多一点点我真的ok 的。前提是，你要值得我这样做。

回复篇
我没有要求很多，只是当我问你们几时得空时，请你回答我，不要大牌到我特地打电话给你。我没有last minute 问你，我给足你至少一个星期应我，所以请你不要一拖再拖，搞到我要安排也安排不到。

你或许当下不能肯定，不过请你体谅我一下，告诉我现在不能肯定，过两天告诉我。起码让我知道你收到 msg 了。不然你看了不回，我不知道你看了没有。最后又要打通电话问你收到了吗，and then 你再告诉我 sorry ar cannot confirm yet。电话不是白打？不是你打你当然看不到钱出，不过请你知道，我不是打你一通而已。

然后，如果你答应我两天后confirm，请你自动两天后reply 我。不要拖了又拖，弄到我要打电话问你confirm 了没。其实我大可以take you out from my consideration and go on with my planning，BUT, 我当你 friend 才 call 了又call, 问了又问，尽力做到不要遗忘任何人，所以请你顾下我的感受。你发生什么事有什么问题不能现在给答案我 at least 请知会我一声，不要 leave me hanging 猜啊猜 zomok 他不 reply 我，是不是我很烦什么的。

放飞机篇
我没有last minute 安排节目。我至少两个星期前告诉你xxx日有聚会，所以请你不要一天前告诉我你不能。或许你以为多你一个不多，少你一个不少。问题是10条水每个都酱以为，所以害到我每次都要last minute call 完整村人讲 event 有变，又换时间换地点。你以为想换就换？换了大家 ok 还好，一些 ok 一些不 ok 我又要再改，一改再改结果和重新 plan 过没分别咯。

有时不是我想叫你，只是当你朋友所以通知你。一些人已经信用破产， 叫10 次来一次，msg 又不回，text 又不理，真的很想睬你都傻。不过酱多年朋友，等下你facebook 看到整村人出街没有叫你你心里也不爽。I care about your feelings, so 请你也顾下我的。不能来/不想来，立刻跟我讲"cannot make it"，不要跟我讲 "should be ok" 然后安排完了，然后你跟我讲 "my other friends call me out ar"。

他奶奶的。你当我什么？我早早问你不是叫你拖，我给你时间问家人那天有没有family plan，毕竟家人重要。再来是看下你schedule 又没有朋友约。有的话请你推掉我。如果没人约请你知道我已经 book 了你，所以请你负下责任，迟来约你的请你推掉他，而不是放我飞机。你当我是什么？没人约很显才来应酬我啊？这样的态度只告诉了我你不把我当一回事，假如你不当我friend 我觉得也没必要应酬你咯。

不是讲我 demanding，你一次半次跟我讲，sorry 很重要的朋友远远回来真的很难抽空见他，我 ok 的。可是你每次都把我排最后，请问你我把你 include into consideration 是不是对整 gang 很不公平？明明 event 放别天 friend A 可以来，可是因为我很民主，go with majority date，结果 friend A 不能来。然后你们才一个两个放我飞机，你觉得对 friend A 公平没有？

放飞机的，如果人家叫你 pay for whatever expenses，我觉得你自己找的咯。有时明明讲好了，算钱了，你不来，结果 expenses 要分少一人。RM300 十个人分跟八个人分差很多咯。一些东西不是你不来我们就不用给钱的。租 hotel 房啦，车资啦，买蛋糕啦之类的。最讨厌是明明房间不用定酱大蛋糕不用买酱重，可是因为算了你进去所以白白买了。你不给请问你过意得去吗？

信用篇
有时候不是要讲什么，不过一个人的信用是一点一滴建立起来的。你有没有真心待人，人家feel 到的。

比如说，一个人reject 我 invitation 时，你不告诉我为什么，理由就有三个：（一）不方便讲。比如说family problem；（二）你懒得跟我讲； （三）你根本都不想来。

以上三点，我都找不到理由问你 zomok 你不能来咯。大家酱 friend，有什么不方便讲？所以如果真的不方便讲，就真的很sibeh 不方便，所以我也不方便问咯。你懒得讲，懒得来，证明你不当我friend，那我为什么在你身上浪费时间？

一个人 reject 我 invitation 时，他怎样解释，我就懂他是不是真心的。sorry ar cannot make it got things to do, 和 sorry ar got camp/family dinner/exam, really really sorry 很大分别咯。前者敷衍了事，后者真心许多。至少你也要给人家一个交待为什么不能来。那些敷衍了事的，你觉得我有必要为你付出真心吗？

放飞机，人人总有一次半次。放飞机也得给个理由咯。一次半次，就算理由再烂，例如我睡迟了，我可能会当天不爽一下，不过之后出街还是会叫。每次都放的，有时叫了你说来我也做足最坏打算等你迟到/放飞机。每次都放，就算理由再好，我也不懂该不该信。昨天突然有family dinner，今天忽然要陪妈妈，明天突然女朋友叫，后天忽然讲要上课，叫你十次，十次都要提心吊胆突然不够 kaki。

请问，family dinner 可不可以早早问下家人？如果 last minute plan 我没话说。但不可能每次都即兴来个聚餐。每次都酱起码告诉父母，下次早点安排，因为家庭聚餐一次又一次推了朋友，很不好意思。我相信家人都会体谅咯。上课事宜，时间表不是早安排好了？你不可以早早告诉我啊？补课也会几天前通知，你知道后也请你知会我一下咯 。

我真的很sibeh 累了。每次搞活动前几天都差点崩溃。操你太阳星星鱼虾蟹的烂货！我也要上课，我也有考试，我也要陪家人。你忙我就不忙？我不介意每次当主办人，我只想要你体谅一下，配合一下，省省我的力气就行了。

你以为我是 party animal 啊？你不珍惜朋友，我珍惜咯！现在说一个在伦敦，两个住宿舍的还好不是很远，但也只有周末得空。之前还有一个在柔佛，以后就会多一个去美国，而我明年也会去澳洲，然后回来前又另一个去英国。你以为很多时间聚一起？如果不是现在大家假期，我也不会搞活动搞这么频密。有些人考试前两天都出来聚，为了朋友，读书之余也能抽空出来，将心比心，请那些飞机王反省。





我每次都告诉自己，不要心灰意冷，多给这班人一次机会。一次又一次，我真的蠢够了。或许这次，真的是最后一次。每次都帮忙减轻负担的，帮忙打电话的，立刻回应的，出席率正常的，不多多pattern 的，谢谢合作。不过我真的没力气了，下次就算有聚会，应该也不会这么频密了。可能一年那一两次就好。我真的受不了了。抱歉。

PS: Happy Birthday YewHo.

Rant

Being rational, is it really a good thing?

If the post below does not make sense, feel free to skip it. Because it doesn't meant to be anyway.

Note: full of craps ahead. Read at your own risk.

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Seriously I hate starting a rant on emo stuff. But I just can't help it. I need a place to let go and say all the shits I am going thru. If you dislike/hate/detest pessimistic stuff then my advice for you is please skip this post.

Humans, our emotional side always conflict with the rational side. Ever since I've grown a little more mature (at least, I consider myself to be mature after 16), I tend to let my rational side overrides my emotional side, because I believe I would be able to, and should, make a better decision and view things from broader perspective instead from my own perspective only.

I tend to find reasons for others should they offend me, whether they did it intentionally or not. And I told myself not to jump into conclusions and put the blame on the others before I confront them, so to avoid being unfair to them. Because I believe, unless I put in effort to communicate, or else the fault is both to share.

But the fact is, deep inside I am all mad over it. I am boiled up. I get frustrated. I just wanna scream and shout at their face. But most of the time I held back and told myself it is not nice to scold someone in his/her face before I told them I don't like them doing so. I ended up keeping all the shits with myself. At times, I am just fucking tired with it and I feel like letting them loose. But the fear of getting things out of hand held me back. For a long time, I have not known the side of myself who went berserk. I have not gone berserk for a long time and I am afraid that I can't handle myself in that state.

There are things that really annoy me and gets me frustrated. But every time I told myself that I shouldn't be because those people that did those little annoying things are people whom I treasure. You could say just open it up and speak to them, but how would you wanna speak up over trivial things that seem to be little less than important? It's like being bitten by ant, you wouldn't wanna scream over it. But when you got bitten again and again, you feel like going wild and just scream your lungs out. Something like that.

There was a time that I was surprised by myself, that when I had an argument with a  friend, I ended up being all rational and apologize even though I don't think I am completely at fault. Like hell. I swear I would blown up there and then if I were the me in the past. But yet, I just take all the shit and stepped back like a sissy. Fact: the person I argued with didn't feel like it is his fault (at least I felt so). Days later he only apologized for being rude, but not because he was part of the misunderstanding. Well we sorta made a promise back then to do and not to do something. While I tried, and still am trying, to keep that promise, he probably forgot we ever had a promise like that. You could say it's his fault, but not exactly. The fact is, he finished his part of story, while before I started mine, he got stuff to do and ended the convo.

Yea sure thing, people got closer after argument, but I don't. I was wrongly blamed, and took all the fault for a misunderstanding that both parts were in wrong (at least I think so), yet I kept the promise we made after the argument while he doesn't (at least I don't feel that he's making a try). I really wanted to yell at his face and just, speak all shits out, probably yelling and screaming with tears and snots. I don't know what's keeping me from doing so. I don't know if I am just all rational or because I've grown numb of these shits and I don't even find the necessity to explain. Maybe I've grown tired of things and I no longer care.

Fact is, I am a fucking emotional person. I just look cool outside and doesn't seem to mind, but I do. I do take note of the slightest details, and I can get offended by little trivial things. I do have mood swings, sometimes greater than girls' PMS mood swings. I am just good at throwing them to the back of my head, but doesn't mean they are solved.

I don't know how to express my feelings, but that doesn't mean I don't feel. I don't usually say sentimental stuff, but I express them in a joke as to not create goosebumps/awkward moment. I care when I don't seem to be. I don't expect you to be nice to me, but please, don't drive me nuts. I might go crazy one day. My heart is fragile and I can't take it anymore.

Messaging Attitude

Annyeong people~ Since I am bored here I shall update this little blog.

As the title says, today I am gonna share on some messaging attitude that got on my nerves.

1. Short replies

I guess this is the common one. It gives people the kind of impression that you are not interested to talk anymore, or you don't really care. 

When to use short replies:

Hmm, actually sometimes it is a good way to end conversation. Like when you have an awkward moment or running out of topic, short replies actually just let the conversation fade~~~

Example:

A: Ok I needa go busy on my stuff. Later.

B: Ok. See ya.

When not to use short replies:

Well if I am talking to someone and that person replies me short messages, I would probably think he doesn't want to talk to me and shut up la. But at times, when I am talking about serious stuff, for example discussion, short replies really drive me nuts.

Example:

A: So are you free next week to go out?
B: hmm can also.

A: Do what?

(a long pause)

A: Movie?

B: can also.

A: What movie you wanna watch?

B: xxxxxxxxxxx

This is what typically gets on my nerve. If you wanna watch a movie, at least tell the person what you wanna watch, what you have watched/don't want to watch. You could just go "can also. How about xxxxxxx? I haven't watch that leh" or something like that.

I mean, this is not a Q&A session that you answer every question I post to you. I am doing a planning here. You could always give me some information that can help in planning, or at least actively participate by giving suggestions/ideas. By giving short replies or being so passive, you are giving me the feel that you don't really care about going out with me. 

2. Long pauses

Sometimes people will complain things like "why you take ages to reply texts?" Because sometimes I do take some time to reply, I need to apologize. 

Sometimes for slow replies, I will just assume that you didn't see the message. That's why when I INITIATED a text/convo, I don't expect immediate response, because there are so many reasons that one may not reply you.

Phone text:

- Charging in the room

- Silent mode

- Simply place in the house and didn't notice it

- Busy

MSN/facebook msg/skype or any online instant msgs

- Forgot to log out

- Busy working assignments on MS words hence didn't notice

- Playing games (full screen)

- Boiling drama porridge/Watching movie (full screen)

So why did I still put long pauses under "intolerable attitude"? Maybe some example first.

Tolerable example:

A: Yo (sent 8:30pm)

B: Yo (sent 9:00pm)

A: How have you been? (9:30pm)

B: Kind of busy. (10:00pm)

*and the convo ends here*

Well probably when A sent the msg, B was busy. so after waiting for a while, A went to find other stuff to do.  So when B replied, A was busy, and the loop goes on. Hence the abrupt end of conversation. I find this tolerable cause' timing tak ngam. (Although to make this better, they should explain why they reply so slow but well, since both sides reply slow neither can blame each other)

What I can't stand this is:

Intolerable example:

A: Yo (sent 8:30pm)

B: Yo (sent 9:00pm)

A: How have you been? (9:00pm)

B: Haha like that lo. (9:20pm)

A: Lol. What have you been doing? (9:20pm)

B: Usual stuff la, school, assignments, games, anime, haha. (9:45pm)

So in cases like this, you see that A replies immediately but B doesn't. If I were A, I would be damn pissed if B doesn't explain what takes him forever to reply. It's like, I am stoning in front of my computer to wait for your reply, or stop whatever I am doing in front of my computer when you msg. 

Like I said, I don't mind slow FIRST reply. Since you replied, I assume you are free now, or you didn't see my message just now but you see it now. Common sense tells you that I won't find you just for a "yo". You should be expecting more convo will going on. You can do your own thing, but please have the awareness to check your MSN/skype/Facebook every one minute or so when you posted a message (At least do that for like 5 minutes. If no reply from other side then you can continue with whatever you are doing la). 

If you have other commitments, for example assignment, then just say something like "sorry ar I doing assignment now, might reply a little slow". Because if you explain, the person you are having conversation with would have at least some expectation that "oh, he's gonna reply slow". He/she would have understand your situation, and can go on and do his own stuff instead of WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY. 

Even if you are playing games/watching drama and feel embarrassed to say so directly (It might send off an implication like gaming/drama is more important than talking to you), at least just say "Sorry a little busy with stuff" instead of just leaving it HANGING. 

Leaving the conversation hanging like that sends off the message that you are ignoring the person talking to you, and I am seriously pissed at that lo. Sometimes after a long wait I wanted to start doing other stuff that would require a lot of my attention (eg: blogging), then the other side suddenly replied, so I postponed my things and replied, hoping to start a chat/catch up session with old friends. After sending my msg, instead of blogging, I will be waiting there scrolling through facebook even though there is nothing to see, because I have the anticipation that you may reply anytime. And after 10 minutes when I finally gave up waiting, I went to do my own stuff, there you go again replying suddenly. And the loop goes on. Have you ever wonder how annoying it is?

3. Internet language

Well this depends on people la. Some people would bombard the conversation with short forms and cacat spelling. I am not very particular about it, but I do have friends who can't tolerate cacat spellings (skool, luv, hav, fren, shud, etc). The only thing I tak tahan is people spelling "come" as "cum". If you don't understand what is "cum", here is the link. Imagine you telling someone "I am cumming later"......*face palm*

* I am aware that "cum" can be "kopi-cum-tea" (as in "mix" or "with"), but I usually spell it as "cham" because the word "cum" seem vulgar to me. 

Hmm, I think I should stop here. haha. Cause' I can't think of others right now. And I have elaborate A LOT on attitudes that drive me crazy (ie: attitude 1 and 2). What I wanna say is, be considerate. You may have tonnes of reasons to text in the way you like/at your own pace, but think of the other side who is talking to you. Texting is very different from face-to-face communication after all.

Tata!

PS: This is my 100th post. =D