http://www.playboy.com/playground/view/askplayboy-the-coquette-on-nice-guy-syndrome
I personally felt that the author had some misunderstanding about "friend-zoned nice guys" so I felt the need to explain on behalf of them, or maybe us. Perhaps the author only focuses on those friend-zoned jerks, but not friend-zoned nice guys.
Basically, I am one of those guys who always hang out with girls, especially during my high school time. And no, I am not the type of guy described in the post who befriend girls in hope to develop romantic relationship. So I hope to clear some misunderstanding that I noticed from the author:
#1: Nice guys know their approach: They were not given a chance
We usually approach girls whom we want to befriend with different from those we want to couple with. It's either a shy approach or a thick-faced approach for the latter. The only problem is that, nice guys do develop romantic feelings with girls who were previously friend-zoned. I personally talk a lot to girls, listen to them, gossip with them. I learn about their hot dudes, their cute boys and stuffs like that. Basically I am the nice guy to the girl. But what do I do if I realized that I have developed a crush on her? We are in the "friend zone" and you can't expect me to suddenly change my personality in her eyes. Sure I could change my image from nice, kind guy to a flirty, attractive man, but girls are not stupid. They get the hint from the sudden change in attitude. If they don't have the same feeling as you do, they either slowly "unfriend" you: you failed before you even attracted a previously-friend-zoned girl, or they pretend nothing happened and hope that you give up. Although you have a chance to show her your charm here, but that would mean you no longer fall in the "nice and kind guy" category because she does not fall for the "nice and kind" you. So either way, "nice and kind guy" cannot leave the friend-zone before they leave the "nice and kind" category.
Note that I am talking about those nice and kind guy friends that you girls have, not those sexy hot stuff that you befriended who has lotsa charms from the beginning. Imagine the former as your typical nerdy male friend who wears glasses, and the latter as your basketball team captain and the model student of the school. If both are Mr. Nice Guy who always hang out with you, there's a much higher possibility that you fall for the latter instead of the former.
#2: Who says friend-zoned-nice guys don't respect women?
Let's face it. If you befriend a person with the hope to make him/her your boy/girlfriend, all things you do are geared towards that goal. If a guy likes a girl, he may be nice to her, listen to her, hoping that she would realize how good he is some day. That's the nice guy approach, although not smart.
Sure there would be some friend-zoned guy who have no intention of listening, and only pretends to listen at the first place, but I think most girls are sensitive enough to feel who is sincere and who's not. I doubt you would befriend someone who is only pretending to listen.
So I guess that filters out people who pretend to be nice guys. Now when we talk about friend-zoned guys, we are talking about those REAL NICE GUYS who listens sincerely. If a guy really does listen sincerely, I don't think you should say that he is not respecting the girl. Sure at the end of the day he might hope to touch your heart with his sincerity, but he is SINCERE. He just want you to see his SINCERITY.
It's darn insulting to say his sincerity worth nothing simply because his goal is to make you fall for her. If that's the case, you would call guys who seduce girls with sweet talks and romantic surprises jerks as well, because their motive is to make you fall for them as well! Oh, do I have to add on that, many girls befriend hot dudes in hope to be their special one someday, too?
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So I hope this helps to provide another viewpoint from those real-nice-friend-zoned guys. Maybe the author has not met such kind of nice guy yet so yea. They do exist, but perhaps their presence are not noticed or appreciated much because these nice guys are usually less dominant in the group, maybe the group's omega instead of the usual alpha position of the hot dudes.
Peace.
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