Anyway, a friend is little troubled for not being to achieve what she wants to. Since I am probably not seeing her anytime soon so probably this post do help.
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Today's topic is about "Achiever VS Normal Dude". Everyone wishes to be the best, oh who doesn't? Being the best is so tempting, because you get people's attention, you get recognition, people rely on you, you feel like a boss man! But yea, it does have a cost. It is always something like "I see you good you see me good" kinda thing. If you don't like reading long long crappy stuff and would like to go straight to the point, please jump to the sub heading "comparisons of achiever and average person"
My Past Achievements
Heh let me boast a bit kay? hehe. Skip this part and go to the next sub-heading if you are annoyed by people who boast. XDDDD
Ever since primary school, I strove to be the best in everything. I was a damn kiasu person. I was naturally not born as a good sportsman, so I aimed to be number one in academic. I wanted to be number one in class, number one in competitions. So naturally, I was the class/school representative for many academic competitions, to the extend that I had to give up some for another because I couldn't join the training sessions. *proud*
So I was always (not every semester la, but pretty much all of it) the class monitor. And I was the head prefect/assistant head prefect for all 3 years as a school prefect. I was also the Arts Club Vice President tho we practically did nothing in primary school lol.
In high school, initially I wanted to be more low profile because I know CHS is a school full of elites, so I probably don't have a chance to be number one academically since my command of English and BM were poor. It went better la, so then I became ambitious and aimed to be in the Top 50 out of...approx 650 students in the form. I also didn't aimed to be president of this and that in lower forms because I can't speak well in English, and that feeling again, vanished after I moved up to Form 3.
But it was then I learnt many things in life, after being given a chance to lead the YE. I learnt that people don't give you everything because you have abilities. Attitude is the determinant of everything. So to succeed, not only do you need ability, you also need good attitude. I started to see things in different perspective after that, which luckily, allowed me enjoyed my last 2 years of high school life instead of sulking why am I not given a chance.
When I moved to college, I wasn't as active as I was in high school, but still, pretty active. I joined the Students' Council (And later accidentally became the president of a unit under the Students' Council), and was part of the SASA (I was one of the most active member *proud* HMC SASArians we rock yo! XD).
A life of a normal person
So, after I graduated from college, I decided to be low profile in uni. I wanted some rest after all the busy lifestyle ever since high school. And this is when I've learnt, the most, or maybe one of the most, important lesson in life.
I was enjoying leading a low profile life. I didn't feel stress, I didn't feel the need to behave to become what I should become, instead, I become a person who I WANTED to be. Sometimes I felt timid when comparing myself to the high achievers friends around me, and they seem to be so distant from me now, when we used to be on the same level, or at least, almost their level.
But this is the life that I have chosen. I am well aware that no one can be enjoying the benefits from two different extremes. Simply put, you don't see a person who don't work leading the life of a rich man. We are often jealous of the rich people, being able to lead a grand lifestyle. But have we considered what have they sacrificed behind? Likewise, we are always envious of the top scorer, the best sportsman, the all-rounded leader, the glorious national competition champion. We are jealous of what they have, because they seem to have everything: the fame, the attention, the glory, the opportunity, the brain, the reflexes, the........, and we always though "ahh...how good if I could be just like him"
I have been an achiever (or at least I thought so, but probably what I've achieved is nothing for some REAL ACHIEVERS out there), and I've gone through the bad times too. And now, I am a darn normal, normal uni student, who is not studying in top-rank university scoring the best, top tier results in the world. Neither am I holding ten president title with me. I am just, normal boy, slacking everyday, watching drama, playing computer, handing out with friends, going to the k-box about once a month. I am a uni student ENJOYING MY SIMPLE LIFE.
Now comes the main topic:
Comparison of achiever and average person.
Achiever's POV:
Advantage of an achiever:
- Sense of achievement (you feel proud) - from the recognition, attention, fame, etc.
- Better CV - Better future/job opportunities
- Learn more things - stress management, time management, leadership, social skills, etc.
Disadvantage of an achiever:
- Workloads - stress
- Sacrifice - you don't get to do what you WANT, rather, what you SHOULD. You can't go out with friends as you like, play games, slack, etc. You are always studying, planning, meeting, organizing, researching. You are always doing good for OTHERS but rarely YOURSELF.
- Expectation - people have expectation on your behaviour, performance, attitude, etc. You don't get to swear as you wish, you are not allowed to fail any projects/subjects, you are expected to be professional. You lost the right to "ask simple questions" because you are expected to know it (unless, if you really don't care about what others think, which is also a skill that one must learn). Ask yourself how many times have you asked an all rounder-friend "This also you don't know?" and gave him a shocked face and start teasing him afterwards.
- Friends - your gang of friends differ from that of a normal person. You need to identify who befriends you for the benefit that you can provide (you can do everything dude!), and who really treat you as one. Also, as mentioned, you have less time for your friends because you are always busy (unless your friends are also your co-worker/colleague).
- Complex social life - you mix with many different types of people. And sometimes people backstab you, defame you, mock you, just to bring you down. All those that you can see from dramas la, but maybe not so serious. But trust me, they happen. And oh, psychological warfare is tiring. You do need to put on a mask at times, for example, to greet someone you don't like in the public.
So you have read that from an achiever's point of view, now let's look at a normal person's POV.
Advantages of orang normal:
- Less stress - less expectation, less workload, less commitment
- More free time - you get to do what you want, go out with your friends and chillax.
- Friends - because you don't stand out, friends who befriend you are more likely to be real friends.
- Simpleton - If you hate wearing a mask, or is incapable of doing so, then enjoy your life as a normal person.
Disadvantage of orang normal:
- For low confidence level people, they may feel a lack of sense of achievement
- Just-a-normal-person CV - You don't stand out.
- Less exposure - you don't learn as much, because you don't experience them. You probably don't know how an event is run, how to dine formally, how to find sponsors, how to greet corporate leaders, and how to PROTECT YOURSELF from some bad-ass people - you don't know how to play psychological warfare - *I am not telling you to get involved. But if you are being too passive, you may get targeted by those people, ordering you around, or make you a scapegoat for something they have done*
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So you've seen the pros and cons from both views. It's always something you see me good I see you good. Fact: my achiever-friends are always busy, stressed up. While me as a normal dude, always envious when I see their achievement. But yea, I am enjoying my life. They stand out at the cost of their own time. So it all depends what you want to achieve in life.
So people, think what kind of life you wanna lead in the future. Some people like challenges. Some people want to change the world for the better good. Some people want to be rich. If that's so, aim high! But do know your cost: you have less time to spend with people you love, or even your family and kids (And movies, and even real life taught us what happens to neglected kids but that's out of the topic)
If you can't handle stress, if you don't like being the spotlight, if you just want to lead a normal life, then just be who you want to. You probably don't have as much opportunity for job advancement because you are plain, but you chose that.
My advice is, enjoy your life in uni, while learning the skills you need for your ideal life in the future. You may not earn a lot, you may not get onto the newspaper, you may feel plain and dull, but as long as you can stay with your family, earn enough to live and save/invest for future, that's sufficient. Maybe you start learning all the job-surviving skills late, maybe you may get picked on for being dumb at first, maybe you don't have experience in many things, but remember, you chose this because you enjoyed earlier. Other people advance before you at the cost of your enjoyment.
For the achievers around, I salute you for your determination to succeed in life. But there's also a piece of advice to you: know where to stop. Remember your first purpose to do all this since young age is to HAVE A SMOOTH START in work. After that, enjoy your life. Don't spend your whole life chasing dream after dream, because there's too much to achieve in life.
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