I have not updated for quite some time. I suppose life is pretty busy and have too many things for me to consider and pay attention to.
25th Anniversary Project was halted due to lack of time. I feel sucky. I just failed on another event.
Come and think about it, nothing I have planned lately works. Gathering was a failure, and another one cancelled, and now this.
I can't feel the passion.
I don't find the need to sacrifice for these things.
I am afraid that I have shut myself. After effects from high school?
I am tired with commitments. I wanna have my life. I don't want to live for others.
I don't want expectations. I don't want the stress. I don't want the pressure!
So what if these give me a better CV? So what if I gain more experience from things? SO WHAT???
It gives you a better job, gives you better future, and gives you MORE STRESS. Am I wrong? Higher position, higher responsibility, higher level of stress! What is worth mentioning is, probably the salary is high too.
I wanna do something meaningful in life. I don't feel like living as normal people whose life after uni is only working, and waiting for death after retirement. I WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
I lost motivation in life. fck that. That's the worst thing that can happen to a man. Losing motivation in life is as well as dead.
I really should have taken a 3 months break and start in March intake. I really shouldn't have taken charge for OCOH.
I just wanna be normal. Is that too much to ask?
And fck that. I didn't plan to write an emo post for this update.
