So...my last post was 6 months ago. Sorry for not updating. I just lost the blogging omph. But today I have so much of emotion and feelings, and reading some of my friends' blog full of saddening events definitely doesn't help. Which is why I decided to let them out here. Sorry if you are expecting a decent update from me, because this is going to be an emotional one.
Exam
Exam is next week. Yea procrastination rocks. But seeing that this is my last exam as a student, I want to end it decently, at least with a CGPA of 6 and above. CGPA 6.6 for Dean's Commendation is practically impossible (Unless I score all 7 this semester), so that probably, or partially explain why I didn't have motivation at all.
People
Maybe as people grow older, their hearts grow further apart. It's so hard to find someone who you can talk to nowadays. As we grow older, our ability to adapt weakens. We no longer want to compromise, let alone learn from each other. When people say high school mates are your best friends for life, I didn't realize how true that is until now. I so want to give someone a call and let it all out, yet everyone seems busy (Or at least Su Teng really is!). But maybe I wasn't trying hard enough for not looking for others. But well, assuming everyone is busy and felt like you're forever alone makes you feel more pathetic and add on to your emoness, yea self-torturing. But would it scare you off if I say self-torturing actually comforts me? What a maniac. Ah well. I drifted off. Yea. People are so complicated nowadays.
Near Future
Near future problem, well probably they aren't worth mentioning. But it's just, there are so many decisions to make in a short time, and so I shrug them off procrastinating, which doesn't help. Trips after finals (and yes this takes people problem into account), should I go to Melbourne alone, family trip during graduation, when to return to Malaysia (what to do if I stay, and does it worth the higher fare price to return early). Yea. So much to think of. And longer-term problems doesn't help at all.
Further Future
All the while our goal is pretty short-sighted. High school, study hard, play hard, work for Pre-U scholarship. Pre-U, the same thing for degree. And after degree? Get a job. The question is, Malaysia or Australia?
Honestly speaking, I want to go back to Malaysia. It is my home, my root. I should be serving my community, not Australian. But being here for a year really makes me think. Realistically speaking, I see a struggling future in Malaysia. Salary raise is not on par with inflation. In Australia, we can live well with AUD3000 per month, but RM3000 in Malaysia is just barely enough for one to survive, let alone save/invest for the future. And yes, politics. Government does not help at all.
Sum if all up. Yea, problems, problems everywhere. But well life is full of problems, and all about decision making. I guess it's all part of growing up. I am growing old!!!! Adulthood? Honestly, I am not ready for you yet. Can you come later please?
