Eff off

When you want to do something that utilizes other people's time and effort, please do get other people's consent before even getting it started. Doesn't mean you are the leader you get to decide without giving others a chance to object. When you insist of doing it, I have the right to slack, and help only if I've settled my own business no matter how trivial my business is.

And the fuck is, when I offer my help, I don't appreciate a lecture on how I am "supposed to help from the beginning because this is a team project". You didn't ask for my agreement, so technically I am forced into it even if I don't like it. You never ask me to do anything, and I am more than happy to slack around. When I offer my sincere helping hand and have it poorly treated, the more reasons I have for not participating. The fuck it's not like I enjoy helping. I put aside my time to help and I don't expect to get shit from you. So what if I am in holiday? My time is mine and if you want my help, please RESPECT me and ASK beforehand.

Who the fuck cares if you are older? Being older doesn't give you the right to order people around. Talk about communication? Fucking ironic when you're the one who are always so eager to teach people on how to communicate. It's like an F grade teaching people how to score an A grade.

Penang Trip

Wah I've just realized I have not updated for a month. T.T Sorry

Some little update about my holiday. I've finished finals for around 3 weeks by now. Basically I've just done the usual thing, staying at home watching drama and playing games. This time around I am better yo! I went for badminton with uni friends. hahaha. Sorry no pictures for that. I don't snap photo around on everything I do as I used to. So yea sorreh~!

And this Tuesday I went to Penang with my uni friends. 3D2N trip. I became their tour guide and GPS by accident. Long story short, it's mostly a food trip. But since they have taken all the food photo with their smartphones (and I didn't use much of my stupidphone since I have DSLR), I've taken some of the group shots and scenery la.

Maybe the pictures will do better than me talking. (I am becoming more and more lazy to type I know)

Start of the journey: Wai Keong and his bone

The lengzais. Most lengzai on the left. XD

Hor hor yiyayor~! (Bu the scenery on the ferry is pretty good de XD)

Jjang jjang!

Couple of the day

Reached Penang and our first food-stop: Big Tree Leg (Direct Chinese translate XD)

Shining angel? Lolz......

FOOD~!

Sleeping on his bone

Unique sleeping pose? note his leg posture XD (PS: this is Chin Wai)

Aiyak...got caught stalking him.

Guess what we watching......(It's crayon shin chan. XD)

Day 2 - Visit to Penang Hill

Yours truly on the cable car - the Jakun version

But my jakun-ness immediately lose to the....extremely Jakun version.

From Penang Hill

Group shot with Penang Town behind

Er yang atas tak ada aku. Yang ini baru group shot. XD

Penang conquer mode ON

The couple with Penang as background

AES on Penang Hill?

There's a big owl behind...

Still small meh? Sit choo choo train

Wai Keong is no more~

Chin Wai and his "gun"

The poor bone throughout the trip: Constantly referred to as the "hole" Use your imagination la.

Since we didn't go to the beach, he is buried under the pillow instead of the sand. 

Wai Keong conquering SUCCESS! 

So basically that's about it? Hehs. For food, erm, go find Chin Wai's facebook instagram. He has it all there. XD Tata!

Exam soon~

I am having my first paper next Monday. Like wow....5 more days. Yet I don't feel stressed. Shiat. Must be my holiday mood screwing with me.

Or maybe because I feel secured due to my assignments marks....lol.

Remember I boasted about having full score for FIN 304 mid term?

And today I found out that my group got the highest score for FIN 204 group assignment. kekeke. Hard work pays off. If you have been annoyed by my cursing over an assignment like 2 weeks ago, yea it's that darn bull challenging industry and company analysis that I've spent days on it. Glad that it at least worked out well though.

Speaking of which, this is the first time I study like 1 week before exam. *Although only approximately 1 to 2 hours per day haha......* But well, seeing that I usually start 2 days before exam, it's great improvement. lols.

So I will probably update more after exams. *fingers crossed*


Annyeong~!

Rant

Oh hell, why must someone always sound so high and mighty when he is being such an asshole dictator?

So today I was watching some Korean drama there. And someone just asked me, "since you've watch so much dramas, burn some nice one for me to watch la" to which I replied "You have no interest in Korean drama anyway". And yeap. That triggers a fucking lecture.




I was told that I shouldn't watch someone that is not benefiting me. I should watch Chinese period drama because it allows me to learn more about Chinese culture and history. Like fuck? OK I admit what I know may still be lacking, but seriously I read fucking lots of Chinese historical stories, Chinese folk tales, novels and stuff that like during primary school time when my brothers almost know nothing about them. Yet I am getting a fucking lecture on improving my knowledge on Chinese history when my brothers are playing games like nobody's business. Talk about prejudice.

Yet being a courteous and civilized person I try not to argue. I just said that I am not watching drama for learning purposes. I am just having entertainment. If I want to learn I can always read. Here goes another ridiculous comment "You can learn and have entertainment the same time". While I don't deny that, but you can only have entertainment or enjoy it if it is someone that YOU ARE INTERESTED IN. If I have no interest in it yet forcing myself to watch those period drama just for learning purposes, there's no entertainment in it.

I am still a good boy so I tried to hit around the bush, saying that they are boring because period dramas always involve hypocrites which I am fed up with. And frankly, most of the directors are bad in creating suspense so I pretty much know who did what or whatsoever the moment it is done. So I just said I don't like to watch hypocrites in action. Here comes another fucking lecture.

"It gives you insight on what real life is, and that's why the more you should watch them." Again, I tried to hold my temper and said that since I have a lot in the reality, that's why I don't want them during my entertainment time. And yeah, that someone just don't believe you face shit in your life and say "yea right. You don't even know what life is about. You need to watch them to learn how to defend yourself in the future" and it pretty much sums up "you don't know what life is" "you inexperience brat" "you can't protect yourself" "you should learn from me" bullshits like that.

I am not saying I am all that fucking good and I know I still have a lot more to learn. But I don't like the way he say it as if "oh really?" with a fucking sarcastic tone, and always trying to prove that he is better and you just suck. Oh please, I think compare to most people I know how to protect myself pretty well. Shouldn't you be concerned over other people in the house who practically speak what they think before they even filter and word their thoughts carefully? Yea. Three kids in the house and I am the only one who gets the shit.

I just shut up. I am done arguing with this fella. I know he always think Chinese history Chinese culture is all high and mighty while other cultures are bullshits. He asks us to learn about the temple structure, the ceremony, the history, the language, everything and all. I know as a Chinese I should know my culture but they way he forces it on me makes me starting to hate everything. If you want to talk about learning, there's forever something new to learn and I can't possibly learn everything. Such extensive knowledge can only last in your mind unless you are interested in it. I took pride in my Chinese lineage, but asking me to learn every single bit of history and culture like who's the emperor from which fucking period, or which sage or philosopher contribute to the Chinese education in the past or whatever, or even asking me to memorize all the San Zi Jing etc, I think it went overboard.

And it is as if watching Korean drama don't make me learn. It's just that I am learning Korean culture while you are learning the Chinese. You like yours, I like mine. Yea I know you've always discriminated against other cultures and you think Chinese culture is the only important thing. Like fuck? It's globalization era now shit? I don't think it's a bad thing to learn about other cultures as well, it's just that I am having fun while doing it. So stop imposing what you like on me, as if what I've been doing is all demonic and yours is so high and mighty. Learn to respect you fucking dictator.

Annyeong~!

Yeoleobun annyeong~! I am in good mood this weekend. =D

Firstly, I finished all assignment for this semester! Handed up THREE assignments on the same day. Lecturers really shouldn't set the same due dates for all assignment. =.="

Next, I've got a full score of 25% for FIN304 Mid Term exam! :D kekekes. daebak. Kay la, not a big deal. It's just mid term. So yea.

And today, I just got the letter to receive CPA Australia Award on HELP's Annual Academic Awards Ceremony. It's something like various organizations giving awards to top subject performers la, and CPA Australia is one of it. So yea, it's not a very big deal, as long you be a nerd and get high scores for you paper you have a chance for it. Honestly, I don't know why am I selected lol (Cause' I don't remember scoring highest scores for any subjects lately), but oh well....kekeke. The sad fact is that the ceremony is scheduled to be held in between my final papers. @.@




Ok enough of boasting. My point of blogging today, first is to clear the dust gathering around, and secondly is to share my eventful (and exciting) Thursday with my uni mates.

Since we had a four hours break in between classes on Thursday, Laiyee, Wai Keong and I went out with Shaun and Wan Yi for lunch. Sorta like celebrate finish assignment thing. Seriously, the first time ever I find the need to celebrate after assignment. FIN 204 assignment is a killer weih! Usually I start an assignment three days prior the due date, but this time, I've started TWO WEEKS PRIOR, yet I still have to do until the very night before assignment due. So once it's down, CELEBRATION MOOD ON WEIH! #jyeah!

Yeap our lunch!

Satisfaction mood on!

On the way back - Wai Keong's profile picture

Great nap comes after good lunch. *behrp* excuse me. We were back to uni earlier since Shaun has 12.30 class. So while waiting for our 2pm class, I had a NAP. XD

Yea, we were very ons that day. So after our class @5pm, we went for steamboat! With Esther, Ben, Fiona, Ashley, Mandy, Lai Yee and Wai Keong.


Coco steamboat @ Old Klang Road.

Pork aka babi~! XD

Food #jyeah!*

Yummy?*

Looks like steamboat by the beach? So romantic eh. Looks may be deceiving. XD

Lesbian partner caught in action

Esther & Lai Yee

The eggs we cracked......

The lengzais. 

See the differences? They say that sitting in front makes you fatter. That's why Wai Keong hide to the back. XD

Mandy's small hand VS Wai Keong's big hand

So after dinner, the night is still young #jyeah! Someone suggests go for dessert. Ons lo! So off we go to Kuchai Lama.


This is the highlight of the day! Wai Keong's car broke down. Water boiling. lol. In the afternoon he was already saying that his car need service soon, since a lot of parts not functioning well. And then...overheat after around....7 hours he said that.

So we went and found an uncle from the workshop to the rescue. A good helpful uncle whose shop is near Kuchai's Shell Station. He's helpful. XD

The cats happily posing in front of the car*

Fiona's proving that she can carry Ben

The best thing is, we weren't panic or what (except maybe Lai Yee XD). Cause' whole gang of people there, everyone was still joking and fooling around. lol But if one or two people at night in situation like this, have to be more careful la.


After letting the car cool down and added water in, off to dessert. Apparently our mood is still damn high lol.

RM6.50 yogurt VS RM7.50 ice/ice creams. XD

The highlight here is not on Esther.....lol

Esther's love from Lai Yee 

So that concludes our day. A day full of actions. Finally broke free from my repetitive schedule weih! We need more outings (and of course more cash outlay lol)

PS: photos marked * are stolen from Esther.

Friend-zoned?

Just when I was wondering what should I blog about (since there's a lack of update), I stumbled across this from my friend's twitter:

http://www.playboy.com/playground/view/askplayboy-the-coquette-on-nice-guy-syndrome

I personally felt that the author had some misunderstanding about "friend-zoned nice guys" so I felt the need to explain on behalf of them, or maybe us. Perhaps the author only focuses on those friend-zoned jerks, but not friend-zoned nice guys.

Basically, I am one of those guys who always hang out with girls, especially during my high school time. And no, I am not the type of guy described in the post who befriend girls in hope to develop romantic relationship. So I hope to clear some misunderstanding that I noticed from the author:

#1: Nice guys know their approach: They were not given a chance
We usually approach girls whom we want to befriend with different from those we want to couple with. It's either a shy approach or a thick-faced approach for the latter. The only problem is that, nice guys do develop romantic feelings with girls who were previously friend-zoned. I personally talk a lot to girls, listen to them, gossip with them. I learn about their hot dudes, their cute boys and stuffs like that. Basically I am the nice guy to the girl. But what do I do if I realized that I have developed a crush on her? We are in the "friend zone" and you can't expect me to suddenly change my personality in her eyes. Sure I could change my image from nice, kind guy to a flirty, attractive man, but girls are not stupid. They get the hint from the sudden change in attitude. If they don't have the same feeling as you do, they either slowly "unfriend" you: you failed before you even attracted a previously-friend-zoned girl, or they pretend nothing happened and hope that you give up. Although you have a chance to show her your charm here, but that would mean you no longer fall in the "nice and kind guy" category because she does not fall for the "nice and kind" you. So either way, "nice and kind guy" cannot leave the friend-zone before they leave the "nice and kind" category.

Note that I am talking about those nice and kind guy friends that you girls have, not those sexy hot stuff that you befriended who has lotsa charms from the beginning. Imagine the former as your typical nerdy male friend who wears glasses, and the latter as your basketball team captain and the model student of the school. If both are Mr. Nice Guy who always hang out with you, there's a much higher possibility that you fall for the latter instead of the former.

#2: Who says friend-zoned-nice guys don't respect women?
Let's face it. If you befriend a person with the hope to make him/her your boy/girlfriend, all things you do are geared towards that goal. If a guy likes a girl, he may be nice to her, listen to her, hoping that she would realize how good he is some day. That's the nice guy approach, although not smart.

Sure there would be some friend-zoned guy who have no intention of listening, and only pretends to listen at the first place, but I think most girls are sensitive enough to feel who is sincere and who's not. I doubt you would befriend someone who is only pretending to listen.

So I guess that filters out people who pretend to be nice guys. Now when we talk about friend-zoned guys, we are talking about those REAL NICE GUYS who listens sincerely. If a guy really does listen sincerely, I don't think you should say that he is not respecting the girl. Sure at the end of the day he might hope to touch your heart with his sincerity, but he is SINCERE. He just want you to see his SINCERITY.

It's darn insulting to say his sincerity worth nothing simply because his goal is to make you fall for her. If that's the case, you would call guys who seduce girls with sweet talks and romantic surprises jerks as well, because their motive is to make you fall for them as well! Oh, do I have to add on that, many girls befriend hot dudes in hope to be their special one someday, too?

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So I hope this helps to provide another viewpoint from those real-nice-friend-zoned guys. Maybe the author has not met such kind of nice guy yet so yea. They do exist, but perhaps their presence are not noticed or appreciated much because these nice guys are usually less dominant in the group, maybe the group's omega instead of the usual alpha position of the hot dudes.

Peace.

Just be who you are

Hi peeps I am back. I am just lazy to do my assignment. XD I swear I will start tomorrow morning. *fingers cross* Procrastinate again~~~ lol

Anyway, a friend is little troubled for not being to achieve what she wants to. Since I am probably not seeing her anytime soon so probably this post do help.

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Today's topic is about "Achiever VS Normal Dude". Everyone wishes to be the best, oh who doesn't? Being the best is so tempting, because you get people's attention, you get recognition, people rely on you, you feel like a boss man! But yea, it does have a cost. It is always something like "I see you good you see me good" kinda thing. If you don't like reading long long crappy stuff and would like to go straight to the point, please jump to the sub heading "comparisons of achiever and average person"

My Past Achievements
Heh let me boast a bit kay? hehe. Skip this part and go to the next sub-heading if you are annoyed by people who boast. XDDDD

Ever since primary school, I strove to be the best in everything. I was a damn kiasu person. I was naturally not born as a good sportsman, so I aimed to be number one in academic. I wanted to be number one in class, number one in competitions. So naturally, I was the class/school representative for many academic competitions, to the extend that I had to give up some for another because I couldn't join the training sessions. *proud*

So I was always (not every semester la, but pretty much all of it) the class monitor. And I was the head prefect/assistant head prefect for all 3 years as a school prefect. I was also the Arts Club Vice President tho we practically did nothing in primary school lol.

In high school, initially I wanted to be more low profile because I know CHS is a school full of elites, so I probably don't have a chance to be number one academically since my command of English and BM were poor. It went better la, so then I became ambitious and aimed to be in the Top 50 out of...approx 650 students in the form. I also didn't aimed to be president of this and that in lower forms because I can't speak well in English, and that feeling again, vanished after I moved up to Form 3.

But it was then I learnt many things in life, after being given a chance to lead the YE. I learnt that people don't give you everything because you have abilities. Attitude is the determinant of everything. So to succeed, not only do you need ability, you also need good attitude. I started to see things in different perspective after that, which luckily, allowed me enjoyed my last 2 years of high school life instead of sulking why am I not given a chance.

When I moved to college, I wasn't as active as I was in high school, but still, pretty active. I joined the Students' Council (And later accidentally became the president of a unit under the Students' Council), and was part of the SASA (I was one of the most active member *proud* HMC SASArians we rock yo! XD).

A life of a normal person
So, after I graduated from college, I decided to be low profile in uni. I wanted some rest after all the busy lifestyle ever since high school. And this is when I've learnt, the most, or maybe one of the most, important lesson in life.

I was enjoying leading a low profile life. I didn't feel stress, I didn't feel the need to behave to become what I should become, instead, I become a person who I WANTED to be. Sometimes I felt timid when comparing myself to the high achievers friends around me, and they seem to be so distant from me now, when we used to be on the same level, or at least, almost their level.

But this is the life that I have chosen. I am well aware that no one can be enjoying the benefits from two different extremes. Simply put, you don't see a person who don't work leading the life of a rich man. We are often jealous of the rich people, being able to lead a grand lifestyle. But have we considered what have they sacrificed behind? Likewise, we are always envious of the top scorer, the best sportsman, the all-rounded leader, the glorious national competition champion. We are jealous of what they have, because they seem to have everything: the fame, the attention, the glory, the opportunity, the brain, the reflexes, the........, and we always though "ahh...how good if I could be just like him"

I have been an achiever (or at least I thought so, but probably what I've achieved is nothing for some REAL ACHIEVERS out there), and I've gone through the bad times too. And now, I am a darn normal, normal uni student, who is not studying in top-rank university scoring the best, top tier results in the world. Neither am I holding ten president title with me. I am just, normal boy, slacking everyday, watching drama, playing computer, handing out with friends, going to the k-box about once a month. I am a uni student ENJOYING MY SIMPLE LIFE.

Now comes the main topic:

Comparison of achiever and average person.

Achiever's POV:
Advantage of an achiever:

1. Sense of achievement (you feel proud) - from the recognition, attention, fame, etc.
2. Better CV - Better future/job opportunities
3. Learn more things - stress management, time management, leadership, social skills, etc.

Disadvantage of an achiever:

1. Workloads - stress
2. Sacrifice - you don't get to do what you WANT, rather, what you SHOULD. You can't go out with friends as you like, play games, slack, etc. You are always studying, planning, meeting, organizing, researching. You are always doing good for OTHERS but rarely YOURSELF.
3. Expectation - people have expectation on your behaviour, performance, attitude, etc. You don't get to swear as you wish, you are not allowed to fail any projects/subjects, you are expected to be professional. You lost the right to "ask simple questions" because you are expected to know it (unless, if you really don't care about what others think, which is also a skill that one must learn). Ask yourself how many times have you asked an all rounder-friend "This also you don't know?" and gave him a shocked face and start teasing him afterwards.
4. Friends - your gang of friends differ from that of a normal person. You need to identify who befriends you for the benefit that you can provide (you can do everything dude!), and who really treat you as one. Also, as mentioned, you have less time for your friends because you are always busy (unless your friends are also your co-worker/colleague).
5. Complex social life - you mix with many different types of people. And sometimes people backstab you, defame you, mock you, just to bring you down. All those that you can see from dramas la, but maybe not so serious. But trust me, they happen. And oh, psychological warfare is tiring. You do need to put on a mask at times, for example, to greet someone you don't like in the public.

So you have read that from an achiever's point of view, now let's look at a normal person's POV.

Advantages of orang normal:

1. Less stress - less expectation, less workload, less commitment
2. More free time - you get to do what you want, go out with your friends and chillax.
3. Friends - because you don't stand out, friends who befriend you are more likely to be real friends. 
4. Simpleton - If you hate wearing a mask, or is incapable of doing so, then enjoy your life as a normal person.

Disadvantage of orang normal:

1. For low confidence level people, they may feel a lack of sense of achievement
2. Just-a-normal-person CV - You don't stand out.
3. Less exposure - you don't learn as much, because you don't experience them. You probably don't know how an event is run, how to dine formally, how to find sponsors, how to greet corporate leaders, and how to PROTECT YOURSELF from some bad-ass people - you don't know how to play psychological warfare - *I am not telling you to get involved. But if you are being too passive, you may get targeted by those people, ordering you around, or make you a scapegoat for something they have done*

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So you've seen the pros and cons from both views. It's always something you see me good I see you good. Fact: my achiever-friends are always busy, stressed up. While me as a normal dude, always envious when I see their achievement. But yea, I am enjoying my life. They stand out at the cost of their own time. So it all depends what you want to achieve in life.

So people, think what kind of life you wanna lead in the future. Some people like challenges. Some people want to change the world for the better good. Some people want to be rich. If that's so, aim high! But do know your cost: you have less time to spend with people you love, or even your family and kids (And movies, and even real life taught us what happens to neglected kids but that's out of the topic)

If you can't handle stress, if you don't like being the spotlight, if you just want to lead a normal life, then just be who you want to. You probably don't have as much opportunity for job advancement because you are plain, but you chose that.

My advice is, enjoy your life in uni, while learning the skills you need for your ideal life in the future. You may not earn a lot, you may not get onto the newspaper, you may feel plain and dull, but as long as you can stay with your family, earn enough  to live and save/invest for future, that's sufficient. Maybe you start learning all the job-surviving skills late, maybe you may get picked on for being dumb at first, maybe you don't have experience in many things, but remember, you chose this because you enjoyed earlier. Other people advance before you at the cost of your enjoyment.

For the achievers around, I salute you for your determination to succeed in life. But there's also a piece of advice to you: know where to stop. Remember your first purpose to do all this since young age is to HAVE A SMOOTH START in work. After that, enjoy your life. Don't spend your whole life chasing dream after dream, because there's too much to achieve in life.

Credibility

A few days ago I read an article from the newspaper about "credibility". The author shared her (if I didn't remember wrongly, it's a female author XD) experience on how she brought up her child as a credible person. The story was roughly like this:

The child, coming from a foreign country, did not have many friends. One day, out of the blues a friend invited him to his farm the next day. So the child, with his mom (the author), waited at the school gate the next day, only to find his friend missing the appointment.

It turned out that the friend was just "casually talking about it" and since the friend had something else to do, totally ignored the promise. Since the kid was not her child, the author couldn't possibly lecture the kid about one's "credibility". The author then taught her child to be a credible person who always keep to his promise.

When her kid graduated, she saw the kid's classmate wrote an interesting testimonial for him. "You may not have realized this, but you are the most trustworthy person I've ever met. There's no worry that you will miss any appointment. You are always punctual for any event."

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So, today this post is gonna talk about "credibility" and "promise".

....

.......

............

Seriously, I am stuck. I had a lot of inspiration a few days ago when I read the article. But since my exam was coming I didn't post about it. And now...the inspirations are gone~! T.T I guess I should just type what I remember then. Sorry this post is gonna be a little disorganized. @.@


I sorta feel that, people nowadays take promises very lightly. That's why all plans usually ended up messy. Now, I sometimes don't even see the need to plan things in detail, because they don't go accordingly. For example, a dinner that is suppose to start at 7pm, we have to get everyone to come at 5pm. If you say "let's meet at 7pm", chances are, you're gonna get frustrated big big time.

Sure we don't see a problem. We know that people's gonna be late what. Just say we gonna start early la! But it's very unfair for people who are punctual, no? Punctual people sacrificed their time to wait for the "real time" aka 7pm.

To me, punctuality reflects one's personality. One who's always late has no consideration for the others, and therefore, does not worth my respect. If you're always late on me, I too will be late on you. You no respect I, I no respect you, simple.

Perhaps easy communication these days make people find less importance in "promises". If any problems arise, we can always contact the others and say so. But then again, breaking promises is costly to BOTH parties. The one who break promises again and again, you are gonna lose all your credibility and nobody's gonna believe in you again. The one who is always the victim, had to sacrifice his/her own resources (time, money, etc) to accommodate to the "change in plan". Take the example of the author's case, they had to sacrifice the time to wait for the friend, and maybe any cost of travelling or preparation for the outing.

The best illustration that communication affects credibility: my experience as an "ahmad". I remember in the past, when I went for any birthday party, I would tell my dad, "pa, event is starting at 1pm and ends at 6pm".  I would reach by 12:50pm, and event would start around 1pm. And then by 5:30pm, event is near its end, and I can leave by 6pm.

Now, when I need to fetch my brother around, he always tell me "I will call you when it ends". To me, it's damn frustrating. Cause' I can't go anywhere! I need to wait for him to call me. When I ask him "can't you give me a specific time?" He would tell me "I dunno also! They say 6pm, but always end late one!" And the same thing applies to fetching him home from co-curricular activities.

Yea, everyone now owns a handphone. That's why communication is easy. Unlike last time, everything must be planned early, and must go according to plan. Because any deviation is costly to adjust.

But poor event management does affect the organizer's credibility. Seriously. I myself hate going to events organize by "this gang" because it never go according to plan. "This gang", really have a lot of problem in events and they make phone calls to adjust like nobody's business. And the participants like us, in the end, wait and wait and wait. For example, a barbecue dinner was supposed to start at 7pm. I was told that someone would fetch me from my home. So I got ready and waited since 6:30pm. And the person got another person to come pick me up at 7:45pm. I was starving, but never mind, I thought I got to eat by 8pm. But in the end, the driver told me that there's more errands to run. The driver had to drop people, pick up another person, buy some utensils because they didn't prepare, etc etc. I ended up reaching at 9:30. Yes, 9:30 for dinner. Don't you think that the deviation is a bit too much? If we are late by 1 hour, ok la that's still acceptable. But 2.5 hours? I mean, it's not the driver's fault, it's the event organizer's fault for making the driver to do so much. The driver was a victim too. and 2.5 hours is actually a pretty "normal" delay in their activities.

Like the author's case, your credibility is built by your actions. People don't trust you just because you are some big shot or famous. You need to build up your reputation. Start by doing simple things like keeping promises to your friends (party, gathering, study group, discussion etc etc), being punctual, do proper planning, and avoid last minute changes. Not only you are helping people around you, you actually help building your own reputation and credibility.



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Ok, I know this post is really messy and stuff, I'm really sorry. Cause' I really can't find the flow that I wanted to write the other day. >< My point is, KEEP TO YOUR PROMISES, and DON'T CHANGE THE PLAN LAST MINUTE. That's all.

有苦自己知

搞这么多聚会，他妈的你以为我很喜欢啊？打电话不用钱，一个个问schedule 不用时间，安排时间地点交通不用精力。你以为很爽？

今天明明就有点不舒服。明明都不想出街了。当一个两个讲这个不能那个不能是，真的他妈的想骂脏话。我真的受够一些人了！

有时候不是要讲什么，朋友酱久了，不需要计较酱多。你以为搞活动很容易？兼做司机，只为了方便那些有心，但由交通问题的kaki。活动超支，有人负担不起，我暗地里不知自己贴了多少钱，何况电话费也还没有跟你们算。因为只要我觉得钱，时间，精力花得值得，出多一点点我真的ok 的。前提是，你要值得我这样做。

回复篇
我没有要求很多，只是当我问你们几时得空时，请你回答我，不要大牌到我特地打电话给你。我没有last minute 问你，我给足你至少一个星期应我，所以请你不要一拖再拖，搞到我要安排也安排不到。

你或许当下不能肯定，不过请你体谅我一下，告诉我现在不能肯定，过两天告诉我。起码让我知道你收到 msg 了。不然你看了不回，我不知道你看了没有。最后又要打通电话问你收到了吗，and then 你再告诉我 sorry ar cannot confirm yet。电话不是白打？不是你打你当然看不到钱出，不过请你知道，我不是打你一通而已。

然后，如果你答应我两天后confirm，请你自动两天后reply 我。不要拖了又拖，弄到我要打电话问你confirm 了没。其实我大可以take you out from my consideration and go on with my planning，BUT, 我当你 friend 才 call 了又call, 问了又问，尽力做到不要遗忘任何人，所以请你顾下我的感受。你发生什么事有什么问题不能现在给答案我 at least 请知会我一声，不要 leave me hanging 猜啊猜 zomok 他不 reply 我，是不是我很烦什么的。

放飞机篇
我没有last minute 安排节目。我至少两个星期前告诉你xxx日有聚会，所以请你不要一天前告诉我你不能。或许你以为多你一个不多，少你一个不少。问题是10条水每个都酱以为，所以害到我每次都要last minute call 完整村人讲 event 有变，又换时间换地点。你以为想换就换？换了大家 ok 还好，一些 ok 一些不 ok 我又要再改，一改再改结果和重新 plan 过没分别咯。

有时不是我想叫你，只是当你朋友所以通知你。一些人已经信用破产， 叫10 次来一次，msg 又不回，text 又不理，真的很想睬你都傻。不过酱多年朋友，等下你facebook 看到整村人出街没有叫你你心里也不爽。I care about your feelings, so 请你也顾下我的。不能来/不想来，立刻跟我讲"cannot make it"，不要跟我讲 "should be ok" 然后安排完了，然后你跟我讲 "my other friends call me out ar"。

他奶奶的。你当我什么？我早早问你不是叫你拖，我给你时间问家人那天有没有family plan，毕竟家人重要。再来是看下你schedule 又没有朋友约。有的话请你推掉我。如果没人约请你知道我已经 book 了你，所以请你负下责任，迟来约你的请你推掉他，而不是放我飞机。你当我是什么？没人约很显才来应酬我啊？这样的态度只告诉了我你不把我当一回事，假如你不当我friend 我觉得也没必要应酬你咯。

不是讲我 demanding，你一次半次跟我讲，sorry 很重要的朋友远远回来真的很难抽空见他，我 ok 的。可是你每次都把我排最后，请问你我把你 include into consideration 是不是对整 gang 很不公平？明明 event 放别天 friend A 可以来，可是因为我很民主，go with majority date，结果 friend A 不能来。然后你们才一个两个放我飞机，你觉得对 friend A 公平没有？

放飞机的，如果人家叫你 pay for whatever expenses，我觉得你自己找的咯。有时明明讲好了，算钱了，你不来，结果 expenses 要分少一人。RM300 十个人分跟八个人分差很多咯。一些东西不是你不来我们就不用给钱的。租 hotel 房啦，车资啦，买蛋糕啦之类的。最讨厌是明明房间不用定酱大蛋糕不用买酱重，可是因为算了你进去所以白白买了。你不给请问你过意得去吗？

信用篇
有时候不是要讲什么，不过一个人的信用是一点一滴建立起来的。你有没有真心待人，人家feel 到的。

比如说，一个人reject 我 invitation 时，你不告诉我为什么，理由就有三个：（一）不方便讲。比如说family problem；（二）你懒得跟我讲； （三）你根本都不想来。

以上三点，我都找不到理由问你 zomok 你不能来咯。大家酱 friend，有什么不方便讲？所以如果真的不方便讲，就真的很sibeh 不方便，所以我也不方便问咯。你懒得讲，懒得来，证明你不当我friend，那我为什么在你身上浪费时间？

一个人 reject 我 invitation 时，他怎样解释，我就懂他是不是真心的。sorry ar cannot make it got things to do, 和 sorry ar got camp/family dinner/exam, really really sorry 很大分别咯。前者敷衍了事，后者真心许多。至少你也要给人家一个交待为什么不能来。那些敷衍了事的，你觉得我有必要为你付出真心吗？

放飞机，人人总有一次半次。放飞机也得给个理由咯。一次半次，就算理由再烂，例如我睡迟了，我可能会当天不爽一下，不过之后出街还是会叫。每次都放的，有时叫了你说来我也做足最坏打算等你迟到/放飞机。每次都放，就算理由再好，我也不懂该不该信。昨天突然有family dinner，今天忽然要陪妈妈，明天突然女朋友叫，后天忽然讲要上课，叫你十次，十次都要提心吊胆突然不够 kaki。

请问，family dinner 可不可以早早问下家人？如果 last minute plan 我没话说。但不可能每次都即兴来个聚餐。每次都酱起码告诉父母，下次早点安排，因为家庭聚餐一次又一次推了朋友，很不好意思。我相信家人都会体谅咯。上课事宜，时间表不是早安排好了？你不可以早早告诉我啊？补课也会几天前通知，你知道后也请你知会我一下咯 。

我真的很sibeh 累了。每次搞活动前几天都差点崩溃。操你太阳星星鱼虾蟹的烂货！我也要上课，我也有考试，我也要陪家人。你忙我就不忙？我不介意每次当主办人，我只想要你体谅一下，配合一下，省省我的力气就行了。

你以为我是 party animal 啊？你不珍惜朋友，我珍惜咯！现在说一个在伦敦，两个住宿舍的还好不是很远，但也只有周末得空。之前还有一个在柔佛，以后就会多一个去美国，而我明年也会去澳洲，然后回来前又另一个去英国。你以为很多时间聚一起？如果不是现在大家假期，我也不会搞活动搞这么频密。有些人考试前两天都出来聚，为了朋友，读书之余也能抽空出来，将心比心，请那些飞机王反省。





我每次都告诉自己，不要心灰意冷，多给这班人一次机会。一次又一次，我真的蠢够了。或许这次，真的是最后一次。每次都帮忙减轻负担的，帮忙打电话的，立刻回应的，出席率正常的，不多多pattern 的，谢谢合作。不过我真的没力气了，下次就算有聚会，应该也不会这么频密了。可能一年那一两次就好。我真的受不了了。抱歉。

PS: Happy Birthday YewHo.